that ‘little’ announcement

What a ride it’s been (and what a long time since I blogged its been!).

  • 6 years of trying for a baby, (3 x failed IUI’s) where we were told we would struggle to conceive naturally and that IVF was the only way (with male infertility & “ageing eggs”)
  • 1 1/2 years of being on the adoption journey and loving every step closer it got us to meeting our child

Then, in one positive pregnancy test, it all changes.  Our planning, our longing, our desires for children were coming, no matter how, they were coming.  We’ve always felt that no matter what, God would make us parents in some capacity.

And now….here we are, 14 weeks pregnant!!!

I don’t think I would have ever been able to close the door on adoption, its been too close to my heart with my dad and close family being adopted.  But I didn’t have to close that door, God did.  He had other plans.  Plans that are promised clear as day in His word.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Our hopes of conception that were always constant, even though we were told otherwise.  Our hope that He knew, every step of the way.  He gave us comfort and a crazy peace and knowing that everything would work out how it was supposed to in the end.

That finding out, some 10 weeks ago now, was a day where my faith was just lifted to a different level.  Where feeling blessed didn’t compare with knowing we were blessed by the hands of God. Where believing reaches knew heights because He is perfect in all His ways!

“The Rock! His work is perfect, For all His ways are just; A God of faithfulness and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He. Deuteronomy 7:14 NIV

That we are now on a new journey which I am still comprehending but completely amazed by and can’t freakin wait for!!!  A journey with a baby due in April 2018 that is already off the charts in length, all thanks to a 6foot 7inch tall husband.  Bring on anything I say!

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stepping away from nervous nelly

stepping out of nervous nelly - initforlove

It’s funny as you get older you learn a lot more about yourself and your own patterns.

Something I’ve learned about myself is that I struggle with change.  I get grand ideas, look at all the different ways in which I can make it happen and then often never follow through.

Sometimes, even the littlest things often seem hard – especially when your nerves kick in, it just makes things way bigger than they really have to be!

This year though, I have wanted to rest on God’s word, on His ways and often that has mean just honing in on that voice that often tells you to move forward and say yes!

This month, I am pleased to say I’ve been tuning in and saying YES! Not to everything, baby steps, but little things that I know I just have to do!

My goodness I can be such a nervous nelly but I’ve said yes, to two things I’ve been nervous in doing and I’m feeling so much better for it.

They are big changes to my routine which is why I struggle with change so much because i LOVE routine.  But learning that its okay to create new routines, seems to make it a little easier.

So my weeks have changed.  I took the plunge and went to a class of Zumba all by myself!! No waiting for someone to come with me or being too afraid of “what it might be like by myself”….I just DID it!  And my goodness I loved it and am now coming up to my third week of it doing it twice a week!

And talk about being led by the Holy Spirit.  I sat in the car about to go into the class and prayed that my nerves go away and I am filled with confidence!

So little ol me walks into the class, sees instantly someone alone and with the same exact shoes as me and walks straight up, introduces myself and begins chatting.  And it felt amazing!  Bring on getting fit and healthy!!!  I love dancing so of course I love Zumba and its all towards trying to get as healthy as possible to get closer to our conceiving journey!

Second item starts tomorrow.  I’ve said YES to helping out in the Kids area at church, babysitting during the service.   Super nervous, a million questions and incredibly unsure because I know NOTHING on what will happen – but I’m doing it.  Nerves be gone – I’ve said yes, and a time where pride is welcome because I can never pull out of something I’ve said yes to!

It may seem like small steps to some but steps are steps.   The best part of change and saying yes – is that it opens you up to things you have never done and to further experiences that then create MORE experiences!!! So bring it on!

choosing happiness reclaiming hope

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How easy it would be to quietly get sad about not being pregnant yet, especially when it seems it is pregnancy season around me at the moment!

People announce pregnancy and it makes you look to yourself when you are trying for a baby – pretty much instantly some times which is a blah selfish way of thinking.

But I don’t want to have to be fighting to have a child as well as fighting to get myself out of some deep sadness wondering why not me.

So I choose happiness.

And it actually comes pretty easily. You just have to do one thing.

Take the focus of yourself!

Believe in Gods plans for your life and Trust that what he has for you is more brilliant and wonderful than anything you could ever over think.

So this month and for ever how many more it takes, I’m choosing to smile. Choosing to laugh. Choosing to love others. Choosing to find joy in other people’s happiness and the pure miracle in the creation of life – for whoever it may be for!

I am still waiting for my miracle, because that’s what you do when you wait for something you know you will get! Wait…and keep blogging about it 😉

You wait in trust and in hope. Because I believe that you Lord are the bearer of life and of miracles and that all things are possible through you!

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